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It's past after midnight, and hours after the graduation ceremony. I know that I have said earlier that I will not be blogging for a long time, but this is something that I have say before i go for my real study break, and yes for all those people who may have noticed me appearing on facebook, yeah I did switch on my computer, but I did not use it to do my regular useless net surfing, I did some mini researches and also downloaded good music to accompany me for the study break.

Anyway, my intention now is to tell you my last words for the 4 years of Secondary School. It has been a bumpy journey from the day when my mother accompanied me to the gates of Zhonghua Secondary, if some of you noticed, my mom took a picture of me in front of the school logo and it was embarrassing. I have had some trips with relationships, I have had squabbles, arguments, screams, shouts, tears, hence why a lot of people disliked me and that I did not receive any parting gifts, but I don't mind because I didnt prepare anything either.

Sec 1, it was really nice because I was bestowed the position as Chairman after the reigning leader fell into several mistakes. I thought I was nice then, but others see it as otherwise, however I believe that what i did was the goodness of the class. Yes, I understand i was an asshole banging on the table (I left a dent when I knocked the class lock on it), whiteboard (to the extent the teacher next door came by and asked to stop), and other shenanigans. But I have made some good friends then, but now they dont seem to know my existence except for a few. I was also unreasonable, starting up arguments with a few people which were never resolved. That year, I was in a clique but that clique don't seem to suit my coat. Hence, I dispersed after that year.

Sec 2, this was the year when I thought that I would change for the better. I was removed from my title because the house preferred someone less bossy. I was fine because I have decided to take the year off from any positions and indeed I did. However, I got my other problems then. I had to settle my CCA transfer and the CCA master should I say was persistent that I do not leave. He tried to fool me week by week, asking me to sit with him and discuss my choices, setting dates to talk to me again, but it took so long that I couldnt wait any longer. As much as I would love to remain a scout but my health prevents me from doing so. Therefore by midyear, I was in the CCA that I love now. I met some great people, some whom I have become close to, while other i despise. I learned new skills and technique and became proficient in technical skills. Aside from CCA, I had also made alliances with a few people that I have never did in Sec 1. Some people to name, Chanatip, Hong Yi, Vincent whom I kinda love to hate, Samantha, and others whom I can't really remember. That year was no different, I was also an asshole, i shouted at a girl and she cried because of some project and whatever. However, we are okay now. There were some other occassions when my patience ran out and yeah I get cranky, I remembered once, I was sick and this group I was in, was still deciding who and what to do. I was so fed up. Anyway, I was also very good in my subject then, I was 2nd in class and I was so happy. I cried, inside.

Sec 3, the road diversion which I may chosen the wrong one. Well, everybody has to go through it, I was happy with what I have done, but I wasnt happy where I was going to. Okay, i was excited at first because I was selected for the Sec 1 orientation camp. It was fun and the people are really nice. I hoped that they will be able to live harmoniously in ZHSS, and they did in my opinion. Then, I missed several lessons because I was in the camp, and it was hard to catch up especially most of the materials taught were new. However, I managed to swim through the current and managed to get good grades, as so I thought. However, things got rough subsequently. I struggled a little because I was too obsessive with my brand new computer, keeping a close eye on it. I diverted from studying and everything went downhill, gently. That year, I began hating a few people because of some unsettled differences which i do not wish to elaborate. I hopped from cliques to cliques and I finally settled on one which I have to say are really interesting people. If I were to be in other cliques, I dont think I would be as happy. Definitely, there are times when we were unhappy, but it was settled and wasnt very big.

Sec 4, when all things good turned bad. My unhappiness towards some people worsen and I got angry with more people. I became negative towards everything that comes, to the extend that I sulked in class and the teacher thought that I hated her, then she hated me, but it is all fine now. I was still as obssessed with the internet that I could not let it go from my life. I put most of my attention on it rather than studying, and the gentle slope of disappointed turned into a steep cliff. I fell really bad to the extent that I was hospitalised for a broken heart. However I changed last month with a post saying that I will live the rest of my secondary school life happy. And indeed I was. I put aside all my hatred towards everyone and settled for the positive in life. However, there was this constant buzzing near my left ear that keeps telling me to make peace with the person that I don't like. I constantly reminded that is not how i roll, but the persistent nagging pushed me to the edge that I got to be angry at him again. Yes, you know what I mean. I was disappointed with my progress this year, I did not improve much because of some advise that teachers gave, and really regretted listening to them. I am glad to say that this will not account for my results, and I can say that I will study really hard for the remaining days and I will assure that I will get the best scores that I have ever done.

Today was the Graduation Ceremony, and I was very happy. Finally, I am released from this hell that I endured for 4 years. I was also saddened by the fact that I have to release all the habits that I have cultured in this school. I wish that it could be longer, but that would be impossible because if everytime I say this, i will not progress with my life. In the words of MEET THE ROBINSONS, 'Keep Moving Forward'. The road is a one way, you have to move on and there's no way going back to fix all your mistakes, live with it and do better. It was really nice that the teachers organised special dedications for us and all those troubles to make the ceremony a success. Before I end I would like to leave short messages to several teachers who have made an impact in my Secondary life.

Ms Rozianna
Thanks for being a nice teachers who have absolute faith in my strength and ability. And I was sorry for that occassion when my mouth spilled about your personal life.

Ms Lim U shan
I am sorry that I was trying to outsmart you some times, but seriously you are not really the best teacher around...

Ms Tan Seow Lan
Thank you for being such a mentor, I really appreciate your words of encouragement and your tolerance.

Ms Ong Lay Hong
I still think that you are cute. I am sorry if i appeared rebellious however it was not meant to be directed at you. Thank you for your last words of encouragement, and yes I will.

Mrs Ngiam Kar Yin
Haiz, there are times that I laugh at you, there are times when I want to strangle you for that understanding my physics explanation. However, thank you for making the physics concept as easy to understand as possible. You have been one enjoyable teacher as mentioned by the alumi of the school.

Mr Ong Kai Kun
Do keep in contact with that China girl, she was totally hitting on you.

Ms Michelle Chan
I don't know where in the world you are right now, but I just want to thank you for placing such a high confidence on me to excel in humanities, and I will not disappoint you.

Mr Kelvin Tan
I know that you are in peace right now, and I just want to thank you for being such a good teacher. Although the time spent together was short, but I had learnt a lot.

Ms Fu Shufen
Sometimes I really have no idea what you're saying, but I want to say thank you for all the effort you have put in to help me as much as possible.

Mr Poh Wei Beng
Thanks for assuring my guardian that your english is not proficient and now he has a better picture of whom I learn it from. No, I really want to thank you for trying to be a good form teacher.

And to all the other teachers whom I didnt mention, I just want to say thank you so much for making my education in ZHSS a fruitful and enjoyable one. All these words are from the bottom of my heart and none was a representative of the class.

XOXO
T